Somewhere In a town called... Random

Random...

So in the south, do kids play with Mr. Sweet Potato Head? & If so... Hey Mr. Sweet Potato head... why the long face?

-This Email spam to enlarge a certain male body part... Thanks, i'm good... but how about a brain enlarger?

-When Elephants drink too much... do they see pink people? Pink Mice? Get back to me on this... & remember to show your work.

- There are 50 brothels in Parhump Nevada & I haven’t been to one… It's the one on 2nd & Main...

Fun Tuesday

Well let's get this ball rolling... [chortle chortle] I noticed for safety reasons, riot police are now using rubber bullets... What's the ricochet ratio to them bad bouncy boys? And if things really get out of hand... do they then drop rubber missiles? [SFX Long slide whistle ending with a repeating Jew harp] Maybe Japan should continue this bouncy safety theory & introduce Rubber Bullet Trains. And to be fair, i think rioters should have to use rubber rocks. I do appreciate the riot police's consideration & it does seem quite non violent... But i think the only time i would consider it a lethal act is maybe during a drive by shooting... on Gumby. How many of you saw that coming... show of hands?

Stuff!

Support the Nat'l Dyslexic Society... if you can take, please take.

A waiter brought over a menu that read... 'The music is too loud' 'There's a draft on my neck' 'This coffee taste like transmission fluid!' Oh! Silly... apparently the waiter mistakenly brought me their whine menu.

One more... what is the sound of loud plaid? A chameleon yelling "No Mas?!"

More Comedy Sprinkles...

-Would a museum of famous torso's & bodies from all the famous bust statues be too weird?

-I love buying Pizza but only by the slice… is it silly of me to expect a guy to come to my door with a small flat triangle box?

-I was Home Schooled... so my school colors were T-shirt white & blue jean blue... sometimes corduroy brown

-I used to run a radio station for dyslexics… Kstatic… 'Less music, more static'

-If it's true that Donald Trump may run for president, does that mean he's bringing the Wig Party back?

Comedy Sprinkles

-Hmmmm... i guess February is not the month to open a Minstrel Show.
-Say, here's a product no one has come up wif yet... It's a new serum… you mix Geritol with some detergent… & viola! You have the cure for dirty ol' men
-Boy, my Uncle is so bad with his money… Seriously, if you'd tape all of his bum checks together... you'd have yourself a good size rubber rain coat!
-Well it's happened... The NY Transportation Dept has just announced that hey are expecting 10,000 new potholes from all the snow... which means they have run out of street!

-OK, 1 more... so i went to this quarter car wash... dabnabbit... they only washed a quarter of my car!

Weekend Drives Deaux

-Clear Football Helmets: Some fellers really appreciate & spend a lot of money on the upkeep & symmetrical balance of their hair dos. Recently it seems like every team is required to draft a linebacker with unkempt dangling dreadlocks & here i am forced so look at these unkempt knots & gnarls... so maybe it's time to share the spotlight? [Who doesn't appreciate a well quaffed head of blossoming follicle proteins?]
-Carpeted Sided cars: Some people like wood floors... some people like carpet. Replacing the wood paneling on those classic Ford Station Wagons might be a lovely preference option... however i wouldn't go marble or granite... not a good mileage choice. [Foam might be nice for the less skilled driver]
-The Jewish Biker Gang, HHHHck-ells Angels. Yes, easily identifiable by their spiked yarmulkes... I say you ride your kosher hogs!