Hailing Taxis

You never hear this on the Weather Channel. Sure it Rains Cats & Dogs, Hails the size of Golfballs but unless you live in a Bustling Metropolis,

Hailing Taxis is not a problem. I guess if your African American you won't need a Taxi Umbrella. & I wonder if in Roman Times, the Town Crier concluded his News Broadcast with a Weather Report of Reigning Rulers & an all Hail Caesar warning.

Mice Suburbs

I love that today we are so 'animal friendly' but when mice start erecting awnings or pink flamingos near their door & gophers install a mail box complete with a porch light & motion sensor... then perhaps we need to reassess our ecosystem. I think some lines should not be blurred. I say gather up these pests... Put a sugar cube under a match box & stick, install a tiny pet door on your screens & fill your hummingbird feeders with glue. It's called catch & release. Ring ring! Hello... it's the call of the wild ! Get!!!

The Father of Juggling

Before Sir Isaac presented his theory to congress who then passed the law of gravity... what did juggling look like? Was it even considered a skill. Maybe jesters would simply hunch over & try to see how many they could trap from floating away... "Who wants to see it lower!!!" "And now... i will juggle 2 pianos while eating an apple." And jugglers certainly had to be careful when juggling torches. They wouldn't want to set fire to an airplane!

The Dancing Gravy

I'll admit this isn't my best doodle... it does lack a great deal of detail... but the idea, ah the idea! I believe this is worth sharing. I remember the first time i heard a majestic overture & these sudden water spouts began bursting into the sky dancing to & fro. Wow. The colors, the movements, the dances... Tap, Bob Faucet, The Quick Drip, Dancing leak to leak... no clogging here! What could be better? Dancing gravy! [Right at your table!]

The Enamel Piano

A little Funk in your Trunk? There is a legend of a musical melody drifting deep from an African jungle... the sound of someone tinkling the enamels. Perhaps Horton hears the Who & is now pounding out Baba Oreilly on the molars. And it's got to be tricky because most elephants i know do not possess petite hands.

Army Aunts

I had always heard how Army Ants were so fierce & frightening. Really? Do Daisies make a good camouflage? Are Doilies really the best land mine covers? The smell of delectable fresh baked Chocolate Cookies wafting from their Foxholes really an effective cover? And really, Lee Press On Bayonets? Well i will say, however, seeing an Auntie in Army Boots is a lil bit hot. Grrrrrrrr.

The 20,000 Leagues Stetson

Not to be outdone by the other fashion conscious Texans, Gunther decided to 1000 up the standard 10 gallon hat with his humongous & very ambitious 20,000 leagues under the sea hat. Sure he could have gone with a 20 gallon hat or 40 gallon hat... a barrel or water tower hat... but then each week there would have simply been a new volume to beat. So until someone comes up with an Indian Ocean Stetson or Pacific Beret... i think Gunther is safe.

Early Unicycles

Hi Ho Hee Hee Ho Silver! Clown pioneers of the ol' west really had it rough. Many traveled by tiny stagecoach or in tiny covered wagons being towed by a team of Chihuahuas. "Get Aloooong Teeny Balloon Doggies". Some were gunned down while trying to get their giant foam guns out of their holsters while others claimed their 'Bang' flags were quicker than a gunslingers bullet. Luckily, many also survived wild Indian attacks since their 'Arrows Thru The Head' apparel made it seem like Injuns had already been there. These Silly Settlers safely traveled on atop their trusty unihorses & eventually settle in & established a good living running their rubber chicken farms. For a complete history of these notable pioneers, just Wackipedia Wyatt Burp, Messy James or Silly the Kid

Heimlich On A Venus FlyTrap

I'm not really that gifted as a gardener. Lately the only thing i seemed to grow is tired. First there was the wheezing from my Air Fern which apparently had asthma. Then my Morning Glories started sleeping in. My Snap Dragons then were in a bad mood & snapped at me all week. My Forget-Me-Nots... You guessed it, amnesia & my Pansies are angry at the Mormons. At least my Venus Flytrap was an easy fix. Initially i thought it was just acid reflux. If you'll excuse me now, i have to go erect a climbing wall for my lazy Ivy plants.

Man Frog

We think nothing of becoming Frog Men & Navy Seals & enjoying free reign over the seas. But what if a Frog thinks it's fair play & enjoys the equal opportunity of becoming a Man Frog? Or a Sea Lion decides the reversal is also fair play & becomes a Seal Navy? Hopefully the Man Frog will load his harpoon with just fly swatters & the Seal Navy will only club pond koi & goldfish. Perhaps we need to think twice about our human intervention & dominance with the Sea? Don't be surprised if next time you dive off a cliff & do a Pike that you don't also see a Fish leaping upward passed you traveling the opposite way doing a Human.

Repunzel of Alabama

Ah... a Bouffant to the moon.

Always comedy gold.

Perhaps this should be called

Repunzel on prom night.

If she won Prom Queen

they'd have to fit the Tiara

using a cherry picker. I guess

her hair stylist would have to be a

stilt walker! And if anything i'd feel

bad for tourist. "Down in front please

i can't see the Sun!"

The Swiss Army Poke-Your-Eye-Out'

I don't know if rebellion is learned or instinct, but almost every child goes through this bold phase. Hence the underground popularity of this edgy extreme toy. It's in the same aisle as the folding Break-Your-Neck Bannister, the 5 seater jump-off-a-cliff like-your-friends bungee cord & permanent mud pack & Playdoh face mask maker.

Really Really Wide Screen TV [Really!]

What's next? The Cubed TV... where you can see every angle of your favorite actor? A Drive-In TV? A TV Implant? And why not take the Wide Screen idea elsewhere. How about a Wide Screen Microwave Oven... great for baking Foot-Long Beanie Weenie Casseroles? Wide Screen Washing Machines? Wide Screen Gum Ball Machines? Wide Screen Eye wear... actually, i think i am behind on this last one... case in point, wide screen contact lenses... Nancy Palosi.

Line Dancing of the Sugar Plum Fairy

Ballet is a young Sugar Plum's game. Don't get me wrong, Ballet is absolutely beautiful but it is also dated. Today's Sugar Plum has a great deal more opportunity. They can do Hip Hop, Crump, Tut, Disco, Clog, Breakdance, & even Bollywood. Why haven't they had a Sugar Plum on 'Dancing With The Stars' yet? I'm expecting some exciting new moves from future Nutcracker Suites or Nutcracker Cubicles.

Sundial Snooze Alarm

With just one slight twist & shift, Roman were able to shift the lil cloud, not included in all models, & block the sun & cease the alarm for an extra 10 minutes. Some models even included a strolling minstrel, the precursor to the clock radio, but that's another drawing... which will be done in about 10 minutes.